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Enough was enough. The closet was getting too much junk in it. I look at the stacks of things and decided it was time, time to go through and get rid of things. I dig in to the fearful mount of terror, and somehow manage to defeat its terrifying steep slopes of junk. Just as the conquest was nearing its end, I came across some hidden things long forgotten, including a box of an old doll and some stuffed animals I liked when I was younger. As amazing as it was to see the fond childhood teddy bear friends appropriately named Chocolate and Snowball, one other bear caught my eye. This poor bear wasn't appreciated during the time it was given to me; however, it has more value now.
The plaid home made bear wasn't my favorite, but it was given to me by two women from my church who were great examples to me during a time that was quite challenging to me. I was a struggling teenager trying to make sense of myself and my worth. Their smiles and encouragement were a light to me in those times. This bear was clearly home made by one of them. It spoke Denice in every stitch and pattern. The bear would be gone long ago, but because of the reminder it still remains with my favorite childhood stuffed friends.
Denise was a beautiful woman and mother of four children with a beautiful smile and a happy disposition. She was enthusiastic about working with the youth and always knew how to show the love each one needed. In the years I needed encouragement, she was always there offering it. It was a privilege to know her. In the times when I left for college and came home to visit she was always there showing her support, even after the difficult news came.
Not long after I left for school, she was taken to the hospital to remove a cyst, but it was discovered during the surgery that the cyst was cancerous, and the cancer was spreading. What an ordeal for her to go through, to wake up from a surgery and find out that things were worse than originally thought! It was hard enough for those of us to hear about such a sweet person having to face such a problem. I watched her struggle through the next few years dealing with the chemo treatment and losing her beautiful hair, but through it all, she still had that amazing smile. To watch her husband support her as she struggled was also a beautiful thing to watch.
Only a few years later (I remember it to this day), her husband stood up in church and told us that her cancer returned as he held her crying against him. What a solemn moment. It was clear that her days were numbered. I don't remember how long the span of time was after that before she died. It seems like she held out a little longer than expected, but she ended up dying on my 21st birthday. I heard about her death when we were in the middle of a family party. It was a bit of a damper on the celebration, but we knew it was coming.
So that bear that didn't mean much to me at the beginning now holds a lot of meaning for me now. I see that bear and I'm reminded of that sweet smiling face that was taken out of life at a young age. I remember the encouragement and enthusiasm she expressed to me. I remember that she loved me. I am grateful and honored to have known such a woman in my life.
This guy stays.
