I reflect back in March when everything went into chaos and how I made a statement on a post at that time with a full confidence statement that every thing will be fine. Here we are seven months later and so much has happened since. It's been a test for us all and the test continues. It's a time of awakening, a time that we find ourselves face to face with trials and difficulties and in turn a revelation about our weaknesses--and our strengths--as we learn more about ourselves.
I normally would say that not a lot has changed for me, but in some ways it has. Doing full time caregiving had me going out of the house little as it was before, but because of the virus and the need to be extra careful since everyone else is at high risk, I've not been able to get away for a time of fun. I would say that I've been out only twice for any significant amount of time. You'd think I'd be miserable about this, but I learned at a young age how to entertain myself, and so I've been doing that whenever I can. The advantage of having a creative mind is that it is always working, and there is always a fun project to do. I've contributed many of the projects to my YouTube channel as I complete them, and even though I'm not a vlogger or have a good camera for movie making, it's been a lot of fun doing these projects. Some things are being noticed, some not, but I continue to do it.
I'm finding that most of the struggles I'm experiencing really has nothing to do with me as it does with what I'm seeing in the world around me. It's been mentioned before that I'm sensitive to moods, and what I'm seeing around me has weighed heavily on me. The anger producing the riots, the enmity and divisiveness in politics, and seeing people still suffering with other struggles affecting their lives such as health and job loss issues has all weighed down on me. Yesterday morning I felt so heavy and even cried over it all. There are so many times this year I've been reminding people many times that they are loved so much that I wonder if it's becoming too much, but I think it's something we all need to be reminded of these days.
I come back to the statement I made on my post back in March that I believed things will be fine. Do I still believe that? Yes, I do. There was a small detail that followed that statement that I find to be an important element. I said everything would be fine, no matter what. I remember writing that, and I had a clear feeling that it was possible there would be some great challenges in the way before fine becomes a visible reality. If there's anything I learned with the variety of experiences in the past few years, it's this: It is possible to be at peace in the face of adversity and trial. Sometimes it's that peace that strengthens until it's all over and everything is better again. It will be perhaps a different road than planned, but that doesn't mean failure.
We can do this.
