So many things seemed to have happened since my last post. It seems like I jinxed myself in saying that all that stress from dealing with taking care of everyone was almost over. It turns out the next day after I posted that was the most stressful of them all, even to the point that I broke down for a little while, but I picked myself up and continued on to the next week, which consisted of more dealing with unusual circumstances and having to get my second dose of covid vaccine, which ended up in a massive headache and slight nausea--that's all pretty much settled by now. Despite all the continued drama in that aspect, I'm going to change my focus. I came across a website article focused on explaining some of the common struggles and perspectives of the introverted and quiet. I came across an article I found interesting and thought I'd like to expound upon it from what I've experienced, and because it's coming from my experience it might differ from other introverts, particularly since some of these issues affect us more intensely than others. The link can be found here for those who want to read it: 19 Most Stressful Experiences for Introverts
The articles points out particular issues that seem to be common between fellow introverts, and even within my own little circle of introverted friends and family, it was confirmed among them that indeed these are large issues. I will do different posts for each one, so overall, there will be 19 posts contributed to this article.
Now to begin.
Point number 1: Talking to people.
I'm a fairly social person, or at least quite capable of being social. In general, people don't scare me. The only difference with me is that I'm frankly not a talker. I don't feel the need to say things all the time and have a significant preference to watching and listening. When it comes to talking with people, I find it the most uncomfortable when someone needs to start the conversation. Once the conversation gets going, I will talk significantly more, but sometimes that takes patience, particularly if I'm in a new situation and I'm overwhelmed with trying to take in all the new information I've been suddenly faced with.
Because it can sometimes take time for me to respond, it's not uncommon for people to get flustered and impatient with me, and they've shut off the conversation before I've had to chance to collect my thoughts enough to respond. I get snapped at or receive snide remarks many times in those situations, and frankly that hurts, because I wasn't trying to be rude. I was only trying to draw myself out of my thoughts, which can go deep sometimes. They walk off, leaving me stunned and confused about what just happened. Talking to people can be particularly stressful when someone misreads me and my intentions. I think perhaps part of the struggle of talking to people has to do with the possibility of them responding aggressively or negatively. I'm particularly sensitive to negativity and don't like being around it as well as conflict, so in situations when that could arise are particularly uncomfortable to me. That point is mentioned later in the list, so I will discuss it further later.
The article brings out the point of not wanting to ask people for what I want. There's a particular question and phrase that is used in the culture of my particular corner of the world that really bothers me. Hint to those out there who do deal with me, never ask me, "What can I do for you?" or "Let me know what I can help you with." To be honest, whenever someone asks me that, my brain freezes. I literally cannot think of things when I'm asked that question, even though sometimes there might be a circumstance or two that I could use support or help in. Yes, best thing to do with me is to wait, and if I'm at a point where I really want help, I will ask, but you have to be patient, because it takes a lot before I get to that point. That's part of my family's self-sufficient and stubborn upbringing for you. We have a specific unspoken rule we were raised in, that we do what we can ourselves, second appeal to family, third appeal to friends, and last of all appeal to neighbors and others.
Aside from asking for our needs, I also find it difficult to ask people for what I want. I have a specific idea about the difference between wants and needs, and if it falls into the want category (which is most things), I don't insist on it, and for most of it, it's not important to me. I get a lot of people frustrated with me sometimes, because they come to the conclusion I'm being indecisive about something when in reality the only reason I'm not giving a solid answer is because, well, I don't care. It's not a matter of importance and I'm happy with whatever the outcome is. Sometimes I have to answer just for the sake of satisfying them with one (some people don't like, "I don't care," as an answer). I hate people pushing me into quick decisions though. That can cause a lot of stress and my brain freezes, particularly if they want an immediate answer.
In general, I really enjoy being around with people and talking with them, though they might find me doing a little more listening than talking. It's mostly in situations when I'm being misread or put under pressure when it gets difficult.
Be patient with me if you want to talk with me or get to know me. That's all I ask. I'll open up a little for you...eventually, but make sure you're buckled up after that. 😁
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| A successful interaction: Caught in the act of saying something spontaneous, thus the face in the first photo. |
