I've been on a little bit of a hiatus from social media after discovering it was beginning to affect me emotionally. I don't want to go into detail about where or what it was about, because the truth is this may have been creeping up on me slowly, and this one particular occurrence became the ultimate trigger for needing a break. I've explained before that I'm extremely sensitive to tones and moods from people's words and voices. This particular event occurred with a sudden influx of frustration and anger that equaled or surpassed that of running into a wall.
I often speak a lot about not liking dealing with anger and related feelings, and likely labelled them as negative. To be specific, the part I don't like about them has nothing to do with the original feeling itself as much as it has to do with how people react to it. I admit I'm a comment reader on social media, because I'm curious about other people's insights on things. It's not that unusual to get a crazy something in a discussion, but on some particular things I saw the past few weeks were so loaded with frustration and anger that I started recognizing that it was affecting me, and I had to stop. I'm not joking about this: 90-95 percent of the comments were full of a negative vibe. The blame game as I call it is pointless and in many cases an unwise judgement. I've never completely understood this need people seem to have to jab their fingers at someone or something as a representation of all their troubles without considering there might be some valid reasons behind why this thing happened the way it did. It's making assumptions without having all of the information. In the end, all that comes out are words and actions that cause more harm than good, for themselves, and for other people who might be innocently entangled in it.
I knew I had to take that hiatus when I realized how I was waking up in the mornings lacking energy and motivation. Whatever ambitions I might have had for the day went right out the window. Time for restrictions. I'm already showing my motivation is a little on the upswing, and finding a little more energy.
On another plus side, I managed to get a little time to get out for a choir practice at church, and it felt nice being able to sing with others again. That was probably the one thing I missed the most during this pandemic. I'm glad these things are coming back. That was a good way to lift my spirits as well.
Things are looking up, but we're still in a pandemic, so we all need to understand that some things will take time to return, and every step forward is progress in all it's glory.
