An Influential Life

In response to the passing of a recent great influence in my life, I wanted to write about it. I grew up in what was then a very small town, population of somewhere between 20,000-25,000 people before the population growth started during my teenage years. I lived in a small neighborhood on the east of the city, surrounded by many acres of open fields. Our little neighborhood was full of young families, and many of us were in the same church, and there were people who lived further east near the canyon who also attended our church. There were fields between us and Highway 6, with two exceptions. One was the house of a woman with older children, and the one next door to her was a log cabin-like house with a family of some older children and some who were closer to my age (the youngest being my age). They also attended the same church.

The mother of that family named Beverly was gifted with an incredible musical talent, and she certainly made no waste of it, offering her skills to both church and community. When I was still a toddler, she and another woman she was friends with decided on fulfilling a long-time dream of hers, and that was to form a children's choir to teach children how to sing, with the focus on religious music. When they started, it was said it started with about 20 children, but because of her building reputation within the community, that choir expanded to the point that she had to split it into multiple choirs.

I was first familiar with the choir from getting to know children in both church and school who were members. I think the first performances I saw were held during church meetings. A few years later, they did a Christmas concert that our family attended at the high school from new songs written by a locally reputable female composer named Janice Kapp Perry, reputable because of her beautiful melodies with highly inspirational messages. They were friends, and those songs may have been written specifically with the choir in mind. Oh, that music! My young heart would always go home feeling uplifted and dreaming of singing with them! When they recorded the Christmas music, our family got a copy, and I would sing those songs, imagining myself singing with them! But as a child, I knew all too well of my family's financial situation, and felt like it was one of those dreams that don't happen.

Music has been a part of me for as far back as I remember, and possibly earlier since my dad mentioned one time out of the blue that when I was really small, probably toddler age, I loved dancing. We were exposed to all sorts of music, really old (as early as the 1890s) to the most current at the time thanks to my teenage older siblings. My favorite part of church as a young child was when we sang and learned songs--and requesting to sing Jingle Bells in the middle of the summer when we were asked request our favorite songs to sing--but it took one little gesture from a boy sitting next to me plugging his ear in irritation to convince me that I must not be good at singing. I was only a tender age of about four when this happened and very impressionable. That thought unfortunately stuck in my mind, and I have battled the thought ever since, but I still sang, mostly unaware if I was being heard or not. I really clammed up if I knew I was being heard. Oh, the struggles of youth! By the time I was 10, so many of my peers who were involved with the choir developed beautiful voices, and from that age and into the teen years, the tendency to compare gets bad, and I wasn't exempt.

There were advantages of being on the younger side of the family. By the time I was preteen, my older siblings were leaving and beginning to take on their own finances, relieving my parents a little from the burden they went through when I was younger. As a teen, they were finally able to put me into some community programs. At first, they put me into a theater program, which was really fun for me, and I really loved doing it, but it was only for children, so I was already on the older end. I think they expanded the age a few years later, but while I was in it, they didn't allow anyone over 14-15. 

I had a sister who loved playing the piano and singing, often for her own pleasure, but also as a family entertainer. She was the one everyone wanted to hear sing, and she was well-liked in the school drama club. I'm not going to lie, it was hard to be in her shadow, but my envy was never so much as to refuse to support and enjoy her talent. I enjoyed listening to her songs and learned many of them by listening to her sing. It was one of the songs she liked to sing that I memorized and used to try out for the choir. How I found out about the tryouts I don't remember, but my parents said they would support me if I was interested.

They held the tryouts in Beverly's basement, which was where she taught her choirs at the time. I'd asked my sister to play the song, but she had never heard me sing it. When I tried out, Beverly and her friend were there to listen to me. They'd never heard me either. This was the first time I sang for anyone within earshot. There may have been a microphone involved as well, but my memory is vague on that. I only remember the look on my sister's face when I started singing. It was a startled, but a pleasantly startled expression. I made it into the choir, but I couldn't be in the concert choir, because they required at least a year of training before anyone could try out for the concert choir, so I made it into the next to highest.

I started out as a soprano, but after Christmas, Beverly talked to me and told me they were in need of altos, so I changed to the alto section for the remaining time of the year. I felt honored to be selected. In my young mind, it meant that she felt like I was capable enough to learn it.

That year ended, and I had to try out yet again for the concert choir as an alto, and I made it! Not every dream of mine came true, but this was one that did, and I have never regretted it! I was only in the choir for three years, but those were the most amazing musical years I experienced! I also found that being involved in this choir was also important for me as I went through some of my most difficult years when I dealt with a lot of confidence challenges. The inspiring music helped me keep going.

To bring it back to the woman who was the center of it all, I think she saw all of us in her choir as her children. We sometimes tried her patience, but she never really got angry, and always encouraged us not only on the musical level, but also on a personal level. She was often quick to compliment people who performed well, always open and inviting to everyone when she needed to direct a choir, and always supportive in people's other interests not related to music.

From starting off early in my life convinced that I wasn't a singer, I never thought it was in my future. She was the first person who gave this quiet and shy girl a chance to change that perspective. Because of my performance anxiety, there were a lot of disappointments and heartbreaks that followed, but the experience she gave me helped me understand that I'm not a talentless failure--one of my teenage confidence issues speaking here. I already had a love of music; She helped me strengthen that, and in turn it strengthened me. As it was during one of our concert programs, I'll end this with the hymnal blessing:

God Be with You Till We Meet Again

*Beverly was the music director for this community production of The Wizard of Oz and can be seen in the beginning of this video helping with the cast vocal warm up. (This is old footage)