A Good Reminder

I spent some of the past few weeks being haunted by memories of the past after making an attempt to apply for a few jobs. Going through the process put me in a state of fear that my past will keep me from going forward, since I left my last full-time job in a not-so-great manner, and adding to that all this time it's taken to take care of family and deal with grief of their passing, not to mention still working on myself. One application was denied and the other brought me to the point of receiving an interview, but nothing came of it. I had to sit back and think whether I was looking at the right places for work. I'm a bit of a grandiose dreamer sometimes and it wouldn't surprise me if I was trying to go for things I wasn't ready to handle. There are still some things to consider. I'm not discouraged. I believe I'll figure it out somehow. There was a meme that I came across which helped me strengthen my hope for the future, and it said this: 

    Worry about your character, not your reputation, because character is who you are, and reputation is     only what others think of you.

The funny thing was that all that I basically lived for is now gone, so I'm all in the process of trying to figure out where I fit in now. I've found out that's a common feeling for people who have lost people who are really close to them, so I totally get it now. I really haven't lost myself completely, though. I'm still doing creative projects, and I even have one I'm working on with those I work with at church. There's a big program that our children do at the end of the year that I will be creating a video on, and I'm going to make a bigger one for the end of the year as well for a Christmas present! I told those I was working with, and they're all excited, so I guess I'm stuck! Such goes the saying of the meme:

    When you meet me in person, you gotta be patient enough to get through my awkward and shy phase     before I become cool!

These poor people I'm working with are getting the onslaught of my creativity, whether they asked for it or not!

As for the writing, I've picked it up here and there and I really want to get back to it. I'm finding that after several years my mind is finally relearning to relax. The ridiculous things that chronic stress does to your mind! Anyway, I've always enjoyed writing things for not only the pure joy of creating, but also having people enjoy them. I like to write stories that are good for any age from 8 or 9 up but can do some younger stories well also. I have a small group of supportive neighbors still around who might be up for some of my little writing whims, and maybe I could find a place online to share some of that as well, though my poetry website has a good collection of my poetry and is getting daily visits from all around the world. I would love to figure out a way to keep it going with my other things also. If I know I have the support, it might encourage me.

I've also been making a lot of slideshows from old pictures I either took from a digital camera, phone, or scanned from family collections and putting them on my YouTube channel dedicated to nature and locations I or my family visited. There are so many that there are videos scheduled to post for public viewing over a year out! It's new, so not that popular, but I get a few views here and there.