A Blessing and a Curse

After writing in another place concerning the upcoming winter and how people always seem to dread to see it, I began to think about their reactions and mine, which is completely different.  I'm excited to see the winter coming!  Honestly, I've heard so many complaints in the past year that I began to feel secluded and alone in my stand.  I thought about it over and over again why I look at it the way I do and why they look at it the way they do.  One obvious thing came to mind: They complained.  One thing I have known since I was at least a teenager, perhaps younger, was that I really stink at complaining.  It's a good thing in many ways, but it's also bad in some circumstances.  There have been times, including my recent experience with my previous job, where being able to complain would have come in handy.  My sister used to jokingly call me a wimp when I was younger, and part of that had to do with this inability.

I'm not blind.  I see the negative things around me constantly.  It's just that I have this tendency to think positive that drives me past those negatives, which again is a good thing most times, but has proven to hurt me at other times.  For example, the problems at work: I saw that I was burning out and needing to change something, but I thought, as from other experiences, that if I kept trying I would find ways to resolve the issues and the problems wouldn't be a concern any more.  I believed it would get better in time.  Ultimately, it didn't, but even that didn't work on me!  I saw the good things coming out of it in relation to the needs of my family, so even that couldn't sour me.

This goes the same for dealing with people.  I see the negatives sometimes quite clearly with people, but I don't focus on them.  Sometimes that benefits our interaction, but once in a while the interaction turns sour, and it really hurts.  I'm not really expressive about how I feel all the time, but I definitely feel it.  Sometimes it can take days (or longer) to get over a sour interaction, but I'm terrible at being super angry at them, because I have the ability to have some understanding at where they are coming from.  If anyone comes out the victim of harsh criticism, she is, unfortunately, myself.

Not being able to complain/criticize is both a blessing and a curse.  It allows me to put up with a lot of garbage the world throws at me, yet at the same time not terribly great at cleaning up some of the mess that sticks.  Don't take that weakness too seriously though.  Because I don't complain, some might see me as someone to take advantage of, but I certainly have my line, and I can get quite stubborn when that line has been crossed.

My whole life has been one of being different in one way or another with my peers and those with whom I associated, so I am completely fine about having to stand alone in my love of winter as well as my love of seeing the positive in everything.  Someone out there has to provide a different perception, and I guess I am that person.

Life is good!