I'm Not a Competitive Person, and I'm Ok with It

While growing up in the American society, you're raised with the idea that in order to succeed in life, you have to be competitive.  You have to have that strong willed ambition to be successful.  That's fine and I'm not really saying that all of this is a bad thing, but there are some of us who just don't have that ability in our natures.  I have taken personality tests over the years, and one thing they have all agreed on is this one fact: I am only slightly ambitious and have zero competitive spirit.

So if I have no competitive spirit, what drives me?  Because I don't like to compete doesn't mean I don't find a drive, but what I do is not motivated by climbing the ladder.  I have a liking for making progress.  Of course there's a goal in mind, but I admit I find the joy in learning and discovering things along the way to that goal.  I like to look back and see the trail from where I started to where I am at and compare the difference.  I don't do well with mundane tasks that don't encourage growth and improvement.

It also helps the motivation if the ultimate goal extends beyond me.  I am a people person, though you wouldn't think it with my reservation and lack of motor mouth.  I enjoy a good conversation, and a good deed or two if they want it.  The more I see it benefiting someone, the less likely I'll give up, and the more effort I will put into it.  Positive results drives me to try harder.

Why do I have an aversion to competition?  Perhaps it is the fact that you're always trying to do one up from another person.  I don't like the spirit of being "better" than another person.  I don't look at people that way.  In my mind, no one should be inferior, and sometimes competition gives off that spirit.  It also has an aggression that bothers me.  Being extra sensitive, I have never been able to tolerate aggression on any level, and I can pick it up on the slightest hint.  It often feels like a, "me first" spirit, which conflicts with my personality.  Ultimately, I think the difference is where the focus on success lies.  I am not interested in climbing to the top of the totem pole, nor do I feel like I would be any happier up there than I would be elsewhere.  Success can be on any level of that totem pole.  The humblest of humble situations may be just as much of a success as one of a CEO. 

This is how I see it: Success is not monetarily based, it is based on how someone lives his or her own life.  It is overcoming difficulties that hold back, breaking the binding chain that prevented him or her to move forward.  It is the ability to find happiness among the darkness.  It is the ability to uplift another in their needs, even during great times of personal trial.  It is the courage to live.

So let everyone else battle it out for the top position.  I'll be the chameleon wandering through the crowds doing my thing quietly, and seeking my success in the more subtle way.