Part 19: Dealing with People in General
Hallelujah, I've made it to the last one on the list! I want to jump to the celebration, but I can't yet. There's one more point I need to discuss in order to finish this silly thing. Topic 19 is dealing with people in general. See 19 Most Stressful Experiences for Introverts
I used to have a coworker who dreamed of having an automatic machine, or if nothing else hire someone specifically for swatting people in the heads as they walked through the doors. When working with people on a daily basis, you never know what's coming, and the things people would try to pull on you! This may have some place in the point being made here, but I think there's more to it. It's usually associated with the way people treat us quiet ones due to misconceptions they hold about us. These misconceptions can come from family, friend, and strangers alike. To bring out some points of misconceptions people hold out there, I referred to this website link: 15 Things You Might Have Misunderstood About Introverts)
- Shyness: Of course this can exist in introverts, but it can exist in extroverts as well. I have shy tendencies, but I'm not always shy. Sometimes there's nothing to say, or I'm too busy thinking about something, so I don't talk. That's completely different from being shy. Don't forget those moments when I pull something that has nothing to do with shyness.
- Unemotional: This is so untrue. In my case, the complete opposite. I think this misconception comes from the fact that there's a lack of physical expression from the face or elsewhere, but you have to understand that (at least in my case) the feelings are internalized. I'm an emotional sponge. I soak it all in and it expands within me. The deeper I feel, the more quiet I get.
- Don't like working in groups: So this one is tricky, because I do like working with people, but it has to be a well balanced effort. I don't like it when the balance is off, but yes, working with people can be enjoyable at times.
- Don't like talking: In general, I'm not a talker. I'm a listener, but I can sometimes get quite chatty if you push the right button and get me excited. Some people think it's cute when I get excited. I don't know why, but there you are.
- Scared to look you in the eye: Sometimes, yes, if I feel like you're about to lecture me, but in general I'm not afraid to look people in the eye. In fact, more people seem to be bothered by me looking them in the eye, because apparently there's some sort of intensity there. My dad used to call it the vulture stare, but I promise my intentions aren't to make a meal out of you.
- Poor public speakers: This certainly isn't true. Public speaking doesn't bother me too much, though I can't guarantee I'm good at it. Me aside, there are plenty of examples out there of introverted people who are amazing and inspiring speakers. Gandhi, Lincoln, and Albert Einstein are only a few of many examples.
- Want to be left alone: There could be some confusion here, because some love to be alone a lot. In my case, I do love my time alone, but there comes a point where I'm ready to do some "peopling" and do something social for once. I enjoy a social activity from time to time.
- Over-analyze everything: This one is a yes and no for me. I do over-analyze things, particularly when something went wrong and I'm trying to figure out what happened. This isn't always the case though. There are some situations when I can see that there's no point to thinking about it any more and I can shut it out of my mind.
- Don't like to go out in public: Completely untrue. I enjoy being at home, but sometimes it's nice to go out and be with people for limited time and have a fun night. There are plenty of places where the crowd is dispersed enough to avoid experiencing anxiety. Sometimes being in a crowd is fun when everyone is there to enjoy themselves and the vibe is happy.
- High strung: So this really only happens in my case when I'm under stress. I'm actually super easy going and go with the flow when I'm in my normal state.
- Underachievers: Ok, so this one might be better answered from someone else, because I'm super hard on myself with this subject. I would say I'm not really all that great in this category, but I'm sure others who know me would be more generous.
- Can "break out of their shells" and become extroverts: Yeah. Took a try at doing this. It was miserable. If you want to see more of me, just let me be myself, and I might give you a sneak peek. Allow me to go by my own timing and speed, and you might get even more.
- Rude: This is a difficult one. Most of the time when I've been accused of this, it's because they were impatient with me trying to respond to them, and I wasn't quick enough (not providing an immediate answer). It's frustrating.
- Not fun: Anyone who makes this accusation has never made the effort to get to know me. I can get super crazy when I'm around the right kind of people.
- Don't make good leaders: I don't agree with this. I actually prefer the more quiet ones. Some people say they don't trust them, but me being quiet and growing up in a family of quiet people, plus having quiet friends, I can certainly confirm that there are quiet people you can trust, and in some ways I find them more trustworthy, because they know how to thoroughly think through the issues before making important decisions.
- Extroverts are happier: Nope. Not true. There are a good number of stories you hear out there of people who are clearly extroverts who are fighting depression just as much as introverts are. It's true that extroverts know how appear happier, but it's only in appearance. Introverts can be just as happy, because they are comfortable with being alone with themselves.
Having to deal with people who don't really get you can be extremely draining. Dealing with snide comments, people getting mad at you, because you're not responding the way they think you should, trying to stay calm in a crowded and/or noisy room, and so much more is something I have to deal with every time I'm with people. Don't get me wrong. I love the energy people can create, but there's only so much time before my own decides to crash, and that's when my Mr. Hyde might be tempted to make an appearance.
That being said, it's time to celebrate! I'm done! Here are some fireworks from last year from my community that I set to music (1812 overture). They usually have a concert and play music, but because of the pandemic only the fireworks were shot off. Enjoy!
