Part 6: Meeting New People
I don't know exactly how to explain how this one particularly affects me, because it does, but I'm a more of a people person than the stereotyped introvert. I'm not really afraid to be around people, nor am I afraid to talk to people. Perhaps the clue here has to do with new people, those whom I'm meeting for the first time in real life. How comfortable am I with introducing myself to strangers? I could answer that one easily. Not well. I know people who could walk up to anyone and start up a conversation within seconds. I don't have that ability.
I've seen several types of impressions of me from people I've met, and they range from they think I hate them to they think I'm the shyest and sweetest person they've known. These impressions happen, because upon first approach I'm not much of a talker. It takes time for me to observe someone and get an idea of the personality so I have more of an idea about how they respond to things. I'm definitely one who has to warm up to someone before I start talking. Once in while, I will "test" someone to observe the response, and if it turns out well, I know I can relax and open up a little more.
There are times when it's impossible to have a first meeting free of inner conflict. I've had many moments in my life, usually ones where I'm dealing with a decision that's demanding me to take a large step out of my comfort zone, where I've had to deal with some strong and mighty inner battles. It's not unusual for me to stand at the threshold of my big moment only to spend 15-30 minutes fighting against the feelings and false reasonings that are trying to hold me back and making me question myself. I'm happy to report that in many of those battles, I take the step anyway. I might be scared still upon taking that first step, but eventually in the end everything's fine and wonderful. Upon reflecting about when this happened with some of my first interactions with people, it's something extraordinary. I'm not just talking about the relief of being free of the raging battle. I can't speak for the people I met, but for me personally something about that moment is more than worth the struggle it took to get me there. It's definitely not an easy thing to deal with, so I don't blame anyone who struggles with it.
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| An accurate Facebook meme. |
