I went through a tormenting two weeks having to discuss stressful situations that those like me face in everyday life. It was tormenting, because I not only had recurring bad memories, but I was also having some really long and hard days in my present situation. I'm still alive! Yay! Now after all of that, I came across another website that impressed me, not because it discusses the alternative side, but because it reminded me of something I'd forgotten in some particularly significant memories I possess. It's an ability I've always seemed to have, and because of my quiet nature only seems natural. This article discusses the matter of being present with people. Presence, as she points out, doesn't require talking, and doesn't require doing. It just means being there. It might make more sense after reading it: 5 Practical Ways to be More Present. Anyway, she brings out 5 ways to be more present in someone's life, and I want to make a short comment on each point in the way I've experienced those points.
- Drop your agenda and your expectations and just listen with an open-mind and heart. I don't know exactly how to to explain this one, but I've had people tell me at times how I was always accepting and didn't judge the things they said to me. I suppose that may have something to do with the fact that I'm a 5% talker and 95% listener. Sometimes just by listening to someone, I can understand where that person is coming from. At some point along the way, it actually brings some additional insight. It's really distracting when someone isn't engaged with you completely, and more than likely a reason for my mind to wander off to something more interesting.
- Make eye contact when talking to another person. This doesn't really mean to stare incessantly at each other to the point of being uncomfortable, and there is a significant difference between warm and cold eye contact. For me personally since my looking can get intense at times, I've always had to be a little conscientious of this. I can usually tell when it's making someone uncomfortable, thus I try to stop doing it, but there have been times when that wasn't the case. When I make eye contact with someone and it's good, I definitely recognize a connection almost immediately. My super-power focusing kicks in and the only thing I can see and hear in the room is that person. It really can be incredibly powerful.
- Engage in the activity the person is doing WITH them. My mom was really good at this when I was a child. Whenever I was in plays or had choir concerts, she made sure she was there to support me. This happens as well for adults. For me, perhaps having someone listen to some song I've recorded, or reading something I recently wrote. I try to exercise this by helping take care of the flowers in the yard.
- Just BE with the person without having to DO or SAY anything. Ah, my quietness in all its glory reigns in this realm. I've joked before about being the master of silence. My family is quiet most of the time, and I think particularly at the current time merely by being here has provided more of a comfort and service than any words, duties, or projects I have accomplished. I don't know exactly how I convey it, but there have been people who seem to be influenced by my silence. I've been told a few times that I radiate an influential and contagious peace about me. I hope so.
- Simply take in and observe the other person while they're in their "element". Is this another way to say people watch? If so, I excel at that also. Observation is a natural thing for me, and if I'm interested in specific people, you bet I'm going to watch them, but at the same time keep my distance so I don't creep them out. I appreciate different skills and talents. I'm not a sports enthusiast, but I'd be willing to come to a game if someone I knew was playing in it.
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| Taken at a family ranch in the nearby Wasatch Mountains. |
