People out there don't really understand the personal struggles that are experienced by someone who hasn't ever had a love interest, and yes, I am one of them. I've always said if I didn't see it happening to others around me, I wouldn't even think it was a real thing. I've never known what it's like to have someone like me back. No memories of the thrills of a first kiss. No memories of first loves or heartbreaks, that is romantic heartbreaks. I'm all too familiar with other sorts of heartbreaks.
There's always the questions that come up, and the most frequent one is often the simple question, "Why?" People can come up with all sorts of ways to try to answer that question, and in my opinion, the question is often unanswerable. We can come up with all sorts of hypotheses from sexual identities and preference to social behavioral issues (or other reasoning efforts), but those don't necessarily explain it completely. I find it potentially dangerous to dwell too much on this question, because obsessing over it can be detrimental to my ability to move on and progress in other things in my life.
The point is that even though moments of sorrow, loneliness, and questions often arise in me, I cannot let my deprivations stop me from experiencing other joys that life has to offer. I've never had children, but I've had the wonderful experience of taking care of a disabled brother since childhood, and experienced the now precious memories of taking care of my mom in her last years as she struggled with Parkinsons. If I had been married with a family of my own, I would have never had these special opportunities. I've always felt that this was and is one of my purposes in life.
I'm not bitter or upset that I've never had certain experiences. I'm not worried about it. I know that it has no consequences on my worth. I will not let anyone else tell me otherwise.
No matter the circumstances, life is good!
