I just got back from a walk, so I'm quite cheered up now. It seems to me to be an important routine I need to pick up to help me get my mornings back. I've been blaming it on the weather that I've been struggling in the morning, but after thinking about it, I think the real reason it's a struggle has to do with no longer having someone to take care of first thing. That's why my walks need to happen. They cheer me up so much. In fact, a few weeks ago, it started raining while I was walking, and it made me so happy to the point that I was delighted to return home with my face drenched with rain, my coat pockets soaked, and water was starting to leak down my arms into my sleeves. There's a reason I don't wear make-up while I walk. I'm quite sure people thought I was crazy for wanting to walk in twenty-degree weather with no hat or gloves, but seriously, once my body warmed up from the movement, that cold air was delightful. Ok, so I'm crazy, but unashamed of it.
Now I'm ready to take on the day. Bring it on!
Oh, just as a side note: I've been taking time to write down that haunted memory in a journal I've been needing to use, and that's been quite a bit therapeutic. Writing has always been my therapy. It's brought me to attention some details I lacked focusing on, and I'm realizing exactly how powerful that memory really was. I'm not quite done with it, and the most powerful element of that memory is the ending. I think the only reason it stuck with me for so long is because it hit every single part of my tenderness spectrum, from deep pain to ultimate love. I tell you, having emotional sensitivity is quite a ride. My goal is to unlearn what haunted me, and relearn what inspired me. It's important for me to do this, and fortunately, my move a few weeks ago has made it easier for me to write about it in its wholeness.
I'm thankful for it all. Thank you.
Life is good.
