Nature definitely has its way of not listening to you when you say you're not ready yet. These past few weeks have been deja vu, having to deal with so many similarities with my brother as we did with our mom. It really is uncanny the similarities. They both had a similar diagnosis, but in different parts of the body. Both spent several days suffering through difficult treatments, having a good day or two, then plummeting the next day or so. Both finally reached a point where all they wanted was to go home and finish their final hours (literally hours) there. The one difference between them was that one understood a little what was going on, but the other didn't, and that was really hard to watch.
Last week, I witnessed the passing of my amazing brother. I sat by his side for most of the past few minutes holding his hand, knowing that he was taking his final breaths. He had experienced his last large seizure just minutes before, and didn't come out of it until I took his hand. I wasn't sure if I would be able to handle being there, having been so close to him, but in those last few minutes it was peaceful. He finally looked at peace. Of course I have my emotional times, but it really helps to know he has family on the other side welcoming him and getting to know him as he is without the physical limitations.
I have been putting off my writings about him for the past week or so due to having to take care of him and now dealing with funeral plans, but hopefully that will be picked up again soon. I now have an ending to come up with. This will result in some additional life changes for my family since we took so much time taking care of him. That may take a little time figuring out, particularly for me, since I'm now eligible to work more than I was before. I still have one more family member around, but not as much care is required there...yet. To be honest, after my last work experience, it's a little difficult for me to jump back into that, but I may have different options now that might be more suitable. We'll see how it all works out.
Funeral's this weekend, and then life happens again in new and different manner. A new adventure awaits! But in the meantime: until we meet again.
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| My brother looking at the Christmas lights. He loved looking at lights. |
